Good Mom/Bad Mom
This is one of the sculptures at the Frederick Meijer Gardens and Sculpture Park. (By Tom Otterness). My sons love to stop at “Mad Mom” and pose just like her. Last time, Lucas asked, “Where’s the happy mom?” “Right here,” I answered, pointing to myself and smiling. Ooo…how clever. Lucas laughs, but Timothy groans (Yikes, when did he get so old?)
Sometimes I feel like a good mom and sometimes I feel like a bad mom. And therein lies the problem. Motherhood cannot be defined by my feelings. Does it make me feel like a good mom when I watch a mom wrestle her four year old out of a playland with cajoling and threats while my two pop out right when I say, “Boys, come.”? Is that a “good mom moment” for me, a moment when training has paid off? But should it be? I mean, where is my compassion for that wrestling mother? Am I a “good mom” by comparison? In reality, my emphasis is in the wrong place.
Am I a “bad mom” when Marcus throws himself on the floor at the library screaming because I said we are leaving in five minutes? Again, where is my focus?
Parenting is active, not reflective. I am not a parent because I am waiting for someone to say, “oh, good job there,” or “you messed up there”. Parenting is not about me. It’s not about whether I feel like a failure or a success. It’s about preparing my kids for their future. Parenting is a process.
Yes, I am going to be a “good mom”. I am going to train my children in the ways they should go.
Yes, I am going to be a “bad mom”. I am going to make mistakes. I am going to mess up.
But most of all, it needs to be about God and His Glory. I want to reflect Him to everyone, including that harried mom at McDonalds. I want my kids to see me reflect Christ. I am learning that it isn’t about me. It’s about Him. The good mom/bad mom feelings I have are not the point. I am not striving at being a good parent so I can feel good about it. I am striving at being a good parent for the glory of my God.
