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"Cultivating a thankful heart in your child." Sounds like a great book title, doesn't it? I am not writing it, I am looking for it. One of my children seems to be having some trouble being grateful for anything in his life these days, and this cultivation is my new goal... Granted, cultivation takes time, and the seeds don't grow right away....
Seed #1 Got a kids book from the library, Casey, the greedy cowboy. He has all this cowboy stuff and just wants more. His mom gives him the "you have so much already, be grateful" speech, but he just gets angry. While he's angry, he finds a poster for the rodeo and forgetting all else, asks if mom and dad will take him. The parents agree, and at the rodeo, Casey sees a "kid cowboy" and thinks "wow, that's the life for me." then he discovers how sad and lonely the kid is because he has no family. Casey is immediately thankful for all he has, including his new friend.
My child's take-away lesson from all this--"Mom, if I find a poster for a rodeo, will you take me? Puh-leeze...."
Seed #2 Telling God what we are thankful for before bed. Mom's prayer, "Dear God, we are thankful for our salvation, our family and our friends, and our beds and pillows.."
Child's prayer, "Dear God, I am NOT thankful it is bedime. AMEN!"
Anybody got any more seeds for me here?
Tracey~I have a sometimes less than grateful child, too...one who always sees the negative. I like to say she's a "the glass is half empty, and what is in it, I don't like!" sort of kid. Really hard for this Pollyanna Mommy to deal with sometimes!! A few months ago I read in FamilyFun Magazine about a family with a similar situation. One thing the author stated was that while pointing out the negative, or just not seeing the positive, doesn't mean the child isn't HAPPY. They just are wired differently...to combat the negative attitudes, when complaining started, they'd say "ok, you just pointed out 5 negative things. Now, tell me 5 GOOD thing!" If the child protested, that was one more good thing they had to find. Sometimes it continued, racking up the positive comments that had to be made. I tried it. And it WORKED!! A few times we started with 4 positive comments, and the protesting raised it up to 8 that had to be stated. She sat quietly, until she had her 8 things, and rattled them off, and then with a happy heart went on to play happily!! I still use this method when the complaining starts, but the thought that her pointing out what I perceive as negative is not necessarily her being unhappy~she just is pointing out what really might be obvious, I am just more likely to see the positive side has also helped ME to try to see from her point of view sometimes. Good luck!!
ReplyDelete~Kim Culver
Good idea, Kim! I'm going to try it.
ReplyDeleteMy kids would always complain as soon as I told them what was for dinner. We solved that by not telling them in advance any more. They just find out when it is put in front of them or when they help prepare it. "What's for dinner tonight, Mom?" "Food."
Also, we pointed out to them that when they are given food, it really hurts Mom's (or Dad's) feelings when they talk about how much they don't like it. They are to eat at least 5 bites of everything they are given and thank the preparer(s) for the meal. If they are still hungry, they may ASK for permission to make themselves a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. They're not always good about thanking us for the meal, but the complaining isn't as bad.