SWING PARTS

Hardware is not my strongpoint. I can name all eight parts of speech, tell you if a verb is irregular, edit your resume, and even crochet baby booties in less than two hours, but hardware….

I decided to buy a kids’ swing to replace the baby swing on our swingset. The twins have outgrown it and like the other swings better. Even though having three kids swings and four children provides endless, endless opportunities to teach sharing and waiting your turn, and how weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth will not get you a turn quicker, and no, you may not pull your brother off the swing, and please, slow down, you are going to hit …yeah..

Ah, yes, the hardware store. I did my homework. I called hardware stores. I asked about price, location, size of package, where on the shelf can I find that? Is it labeled? Is it in a plastic bag or a box? Is it at eye-level? What does it weigh? Etc… I found the swing, at a good price. I drove to the store. I remembered to bring the children. They even had a big-kid cart. We live for those things. We bought the swing, we even asked for help on which hooks to buy. We were all set. I was confident, supremely confident that I could put up this swing, no problemo…

We went home. I finally got the right chains in the right place and it only took 45 minutes, with a little help from Tim, who pointed out the seat had to be connected to the chain using a connector piece. However, as I proudly prepared to attach the swing, with four sets of eyes excitedly watching, I realized my connector piece-thingies were NOT going to fit. The swing would not hang. It just laid on the ground and we all stared at it. Ah, well, back to the store we went.

We now have four swings hanging in the back yard. Next time, I will turn to my handy hubby and say, “Hey, do you know how to install a big kid swing out there?” (Not that there is a need for next time, but hey, maybe all you hardware-handicapees can learn from my mistakes.)